spilling thoughts.

loneliness
that which has become my friend
adapted through my shields
settling into the cracks of my armor
until there is no separation
that which has become me,
my voice,
my doubt, my longing,
my one flicker of expression,
the pause before the answer,
the hesitation before the action,

loneliness
my preference
my first choice
i stare and eyes stare back at me,
bared with naked shame
no honest lies of courtesy.

loneliness
is safe.
is silence.

speech is the same
but always different
different weights of meanings
and words that explode into images
always different
pulling, pushing, connecting, separating,
speech is tricky,
flimsy at best.

i know loneliness,
and loneliness knows me.
acknowledgment
that which i have always wanted.